Leaky Gut and my struggle to Health and Dr. Axe

6 years ago, my kids were young, life was chaotic at times, I was trying to run a small business and I started noticed more and more that I was getting rashes on my shoulders when I ate certain foods. I connected the food/rash dots from years of meeting people who were struggling with food issues themselves. 
My body was struggling to stay healthy becoming slowly overweight. The scale was climbing pound by pound, and when I approached the weight that I was the day after I had my daughter, I knew something was wrong. I had been dedicated to my running 3-4 miles a day, but nothing affected the scale. Around the same time I was feeding my children some vegetables and I realized that I actually hadn't eaten vegetables in some time. I would usually fill my body with bread and meat and milk products mostly. 
With only liability health insurance at that time, and me getting sicker and sicker, I was forced to take control of my own health by researching healing diets and natural healing methods. 
Thank God for this!!! What if I did have health insurance and I decided to go into the doctor for all my issues? I wouldn't be alive right now. They would have given me 5 different medications to help me with the bowel issues, and the rashes and everything else. 
Thank You LORD for the internet because I am not sure I would have found the Healing and amazing Selective Carbohydrate Diet if I hadn't had access to this resource. Did you know that The Whole 30 is basically this diet which is ages old? At that time I dove in 100 percent, desperate for healing. I was judged and sometimes criticized by certain people because I was so militant about what I wouldn't put in my body. Reading every label and not letting even one microbe of soy, sugar, wheat, rice, grains or cows milk into my body for more than a year. If there was even one droplet of milk on a spoon I wouldn't use it to stir my coffee.  
Do you know how hard it was to stick to that diet for soooo long in this day and age where food is soooo celebrated and it is so hard to get things like raw milk!!!??? I know a lot of you are doing the whole 30 for 30 days and it is harder than not to continue past that point consistently. 
Those choices of selective food intake completely healed me for over 4 years. I remember feeling fantastic and having so much energy and being shocked how quickly I lost 30 pounds and all the flappy parts of my arms were completely gone. I was 125 pounds again and healthy and none of the inflammation problems I have now did I struggle with. My asthma was completely under control and my skin rashes and histamine intolerances were completely gone. And my IBS was Gone. 
We moved to NYC 4.5 years ago and at first I was still all in on the SCD diet and was trying to stay with it. But life happens and smears of cream cheese on yummy high gluten filled NYC award winning bagels happened and the best sushi I have ever had happened and oh, don't get me started on the wood fired pizza or shake shack.  
Slowly the SCD became my history instead of my norm . I am so thankful that I did go through it and stuck to it long enough to feel the results and see the results that Food is medicine. Now I see food in a completely different way ( it is either healing medicine or toxic poison), and I can't live in denial ever again. Now when I grab a bagel, I know how poisonous it is to my system and I have to remind myself that this choice has consequences.
Which brings me to this day. A new day, a new morning. Recently in the past 3 years,  I've climbed the weight ladder up to 177 pounds. I have NEVER ever been that heavy before. in 2014 I had an unfortunate miscarriage and had to go on a Rx lexapro for a year. While the Lexapro recalibrated my brain, it also fluffed me quite a bit too. Thankful I am off it, but I am struggling to lose all that weight from this time.  Back when I was pregnant, I started eating bagels and bread and ice cream and such and it stuck, I became weak and addicted once again. Can you imagine how different I look, moving here at 122 pounds and at my third year 177? 
I came to my senses and have been diving back into Food as medicine and taking it seriously once again.The last two years I have been on damage control and keep trying to go back to the strict diet I once could easily follow. Thankful I am down 20 pounds now, but I need to be down at least 18 more. 
Every ailment is back full force. My asthma has never been worse, Inflammation in my joints, skin rashes, Thankfully no acne yet, but that might be on its way if I don't take this seriously. 
I have been looking for help and support during this time having to make this decision amongst the most delicious food ever offered to us. Surrounded by Smorgesburg and pit BBQ places, Pizza and award winning restaurants, it is going to be REALLY hard to stay with a program that will actually heal my leaky gut and balance the crud that is going on down there. 
All this to say, years ago, I found Dr. Axe through a friend of mine in Raleigh, who went to school with Dr. Axe. He was slowly becoming an expert on natural health, and now, is the expert online. I watched a webinar on his leaky gut healing and have decided to try out his system for $147. If it provides the support I need and the information to help me get back on this road, I think that is the best investment I will ever make if it works. If it is a scam or doesn't work, he has given us a generous 60 days to cancel. this is more than enough time to see big results.  
So today, this day marks the new journey of Faith and food and good choices in healing and here's to you Kelly, Tracy Woodward, and PJ for being my food and wellness coaches in the past.  Hopefully as I move forward into using food as my medicine and essential oils as my rx, I can be at least an example to others for what you can do by taking food seriously and using natural nutritional ways to heal the body. Let the new adventure begin.

I blogged quite off and on when I first moved to NYC, and slowly, the city just became normal life and the blogging faded out.

One of my facebook memories reminded me of this place, so let's see if I can figure out how to blog consistently and to see if it is worth it!!

It might be better to blog and post here instead of a million posts on IG or FB. The ART creative healthy faith journey continues. Blogging just helps me to stay present and close to my own experience and hopefully to share helpful ways that I continue to learn from NY about how to live a  creative life, striving for authenticity and the raw faith journey, plus I am willing to share with you all any helpful process experimentations and understandings.

Finally, for today, if you love Curry,

Please try this recipe... I made it with cauliflower rice and honey to make it a paleo recipe!! It was the tastiest Curry I have had  in a long time.

http://www.fortysomething.ca/2010/06/thai_red_chicken_curry.php

Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp. canola or vegetable oil  Coconut oil 
• 2-3 boneless chicken breasts, cooked and sliced into bite-sized pieces (or about 2 cups leftover cooked chicken pieces) (I used really flat thin pieces of chicken) 
• 1 carrot, cut into matchsticks
• 1/2 red pepper, cut into matchsticks
• 1/2 onion, cut into thin slices
• 1/4 cup canned bamboo shoots, cut into matchsticks  ( I actually was out of this, so I left it out) 
• (Optional) 2 cups greens (bok choy, spinach etc) (I used spinach) 
• (Optional Vegetables: sliced zucchini and/ or slivered green beans) ( green beans all the way) 
• 1 tsp. minced ginger ( this is very important ) 
• 1-2 Tbsp. red curry paste (I usually use 2) ( use half a jar... since it is so small) 
• 1 can coconut milk (light or regular, about 1 3/4 cups)  Coconut cream not milk ( buy at TRader joe's for a good deal ) .     
• 1 Tbsp. lime juice (I used two limes) 
• 1 Tbsp. brown sugar    (  honey instead or real maple syrup !!!) 
• 1 Tbsp. fish sauce (or Soy Sauce  or Coconut aminos)
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Garnish: Torn basil leaves and lime quarter, for juicing over finished dish ( add cilantro like the picture) 

find the directions here : http://www.fortysomething.ca/2010/06/thai_red_chicken_curry.php

to be still... your untold story

Being Still is something we all need to do every day. 

In order to listen to your longings, listen to God, listen to what is affecting us on the inside, you must take time to be still. In this is honoring your own heart and valuing your own soul. To value all of life is not to forget your own life. To stay close to your own story is more powerful than trying to invent a new one ( a quote that Brandy told me... I will have to get the name). 

Pursuing creativity even in the midst of all the things that distract or discourage us is walking in Faith, knowing that you don't know what is next and knowing that you are not in control of the what comes out of it or in control of how your work will affect others. But, what won't happen if you don't take those baby steps? Your story, it won't get told.  It will burst from your heart in some other way. But those people who need to hear exactly what you have to say, they won't hear it, unless you faithfully take those first steps.

Just make that first mark on that blank canvas, write that first word, and don't be afraid of failing in conceptualizing a photo.  

One Beautiful Sunny 80 degree day, (actually this Saturday) Brandy and I decided (about a month earlier) that we would support each other in a step of faith. I haven't been actively working on "personal work" in photography for years, and Brandy, she was just willing to help me by donating her time and her prayers. I would ask my daughter to help me, but I might end up running away by the end of that session (lol). 

Knowing someone has willingly giving you an entire day of their life is a pretty big deal and I didn't take that lightly. I realize how valuable time is and how precious it is and really, being able to spend the day playing with the camera was the best gift anyone could ever give to me. 

I remember those days in college when friends were always available to go out and play, and life, it was simpler then. I wish I knew back then how difficult it would be in the future to play and to find people to go out and play with ideas with. I think it would have motivated me to do way more at that time. 

So, back to Saturday, I was nervous, and definitely not everything went exactly right, the dress didn't photograph quite like I hoped, I didn't have a clear understanding of how to conceptualize every thought. But it was a valuable day of learning process and taking that step in faith to make small steps lead to big results. 

When the blue bird arrived, I literally couldn't believe my eyes. I had reached out to my facebook friends to see if anyone had a taxidermy-ed bird to use. Not a soul did. But I happened to mention it to my friend Stacey here in Brooklyn who is not on FB and she said, "I have one and it is a blue bird!!" I nearly fell down. 

The silent prayers, that are really thoughts running through my mind that previous week,  why does it always surprise me how God is so personal when he chooses to read thoughts as a prayers and answer them so specifically? He cares even about my desire to create. When I was thinking of using a bird, I secretly deep in my thoughts longed for it to be a blue bird. And there it was, free for me to use two days before the shoot. 

Again, nothing was absolutely perfect, except for the weather and the blue bird and us being on the same page about this being a faith shoot. Not all of my ideas came out just right yet, but I am not going to give up. Just by taking this step of faith, I gained clarity and hope.

 I do love what I have learned from this event, I do love these images, and and know God makes perfect and uses our weaknesses to do what he has to get done here on earth. 

Stay creative, be motivated and take baby steps today to tell that untold story inside of you. 

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”

Maya Angelou   

Brandy was a trooper, she got soaking wet, when I had the bright idea of her laying down in the water. Those Pictures flopped. She endured a brutally long day with me. B- Thank you again!!! you are beautiful. oxox 

The four letter B word:

The four letter B word has challenged me to the core!!!! 

What word is this? take a guess.

b    l    o    g.

Why you ask?

Content:

Seems my Kindred Spirit Pinterest Folder is the most popular board that I curate, so maybe I should focus mostly on art? But there is so much more!!

Presentation: 

Don't get me wrong, I have seen people who are near complete perfection on the outside with their skin, body type, style, house and decor, and their lives, compared to mine, appear near perfect.
Is this me??? Not even close.
God made me completely flawed in every way for his great purpose.
I can continue to fight that, or I can just accept it, embrace it, and move forward, Praising God for using our weaknesses as strength. And praising God for this miracle of life.

I don't want to be sucked into that world, you know the one, where we all try to present ourselves as beautiful, smart, organized and amazing. Because if I present my world and life all cleaned up, looking pretty, having it all together what good does that do for the world and for other people? 

Seems so parallel to what I have learned about our tendency spiritually.
We want to just help Jesus out a little bit with our own salvation by cleaning up our own language and stopping behaviors that might be considered sinful, or shameful, etc. etc.,  so that we can purify ourselves a bit before we come to the Lord or go to church.***

This leads me to believe, that if I clean up my own life for my blog, it might be pretty, but it won't help anyone very much.

Presenting myself as some sort of perfect amazing person who's got it all together might help those out there who are struggling to compare their lives with other's be more critical of themselves,  and it might help those out there that have a tendency to beat up themselves up with negative talk when comparing themselves to others dish out more negative talk to their own hearts.

Nope, this is not what I want at all. I want to be as honest here as you can handle and to encourage and inspire you while being a bit raw. Hopefully, you will be able to relate with the struggle and begin to pursue God and your creative story more authentically.

The truth is, I am far far far from anything that remotely resembles perfect. I live a messy life where I struggle through everything!! Struggling to be an artist, a good wife and mom. I am struggling to draw again and to get my photo projects started. And I struggle to get the crud at home done well on time and right. I struggle in social situations, in friendships too.

So, which reminds me, I struggle in drawing so much. My friend Kristi mentioned this to me last week. You see, I draw, erase, draw, erase, draw, erase. And all those layers, they end up making my drawings richer somehow. The struggle is known and seen and it enhances the work somehow. Maybe in blogging and in our lives, we need to show more of that struggle. 

I am on a quest people!!! I am seeking complete authenticity and sometimes it just ain't pretty.

Do I want to share that? Not really. My thought would be you probably wouldn't like me then, and that leads me back to thinking I need to present a cleaned up story.

Hence, blogging is challenging me to be authentic, engaging and positive, disciplined and to be honest  and not depressing and to stay interesting and etc etc. Plus, I have little to no readers just yet. And this is discouraging at this point, but one day that will be different I hope!!

So as my commitment to blog regularly, even though I have felt like I have had nothing to blog about for days on end, this is what flowed out of me unexpectedly. 

a wonderful store I discovered this week!!! Rain 

Now I will end this with a list of honest observations: 

1. Living in NYC in the summer is Hot and so exhausting. period.

2. I have procrastinated doing our laundry for one week. It is official now I have 4 tons of laundry to haul down the street today. Am I looking forward to this? no. I am still procrastinating. 

3. I rearranged my son's room so that 1/2 of his room is his, and 1/2 of the room is my new office. This is how we live folks.

4. I have had some great ideas the past few days, and this is encouraging because I thought all my ideas were dried up. But taking action on those ideas is the problem. ( Ideas for sale here, get your ideas)

5. I got put on a waiting list for a great studio space  this week!!!!!!! and I am number 597 on the list. whoooo hoooo.

That should take awhile.

6. If you are looking for an amazing restaurant to take your friends to, Boqueria in Soho.

And stay tuned to hear about Shakespeare in the Park tonight!!!

oxox,

K

(***But from what I understand the truth of the Gospel to be is God wants complete deep to the core honesty and authentic repentance. He loved us while we were his enemies. We will only become our true selves slowly once we admit we need Jesus' forgiveness and his righteousness, through the sanctification process. And it will be of no work of our own, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9)

Jealous of the Jealous Curator...

I learn from so many resources, specifically my own Pinterest board called "A Kindred Spirit"where I post all the paintings/photos/mixed media art that I am completely drooling over in love with.  I visit it often, and I post my own work there too just so I can see it all together. 

How do you become so jealous of someone who is so openly jealous? Well, authenticity has something to do with it. For so long I didn't let myself admit how jealous I was of other artists.

But, Danielle Krysa didn't do that. Honesty gets you to good places. Jealousy might be a negative emotion, but honesty overpowered it with positive vibes.

Let me just tell you, I have never more jealous anyone like I am of her , the founder of  The Jealous Curator. (damn I wish I had thought of that).  Her honesty about her own jealously led her to start one of the best most amazing resources for me to discover new artists Art to date. 

 

Can't wait to listen to more of the podcast she has started!!! 

Be Authentic and honest with yourself today.

An image from her blog... 

Painting the Summer...

As the Summer days start to fade into a bit cooler and shorter days...

I am reflecting on how time slips through my fingers like its an abstraction. Our days are filled with so much of just ordinary "getting things done." 

Time and Dirt seem to be my greatest enemies to creating art!! 

I don't know about you, but so much of my time is used up in just taking care of the basic needs of the house and the kids' needs like meal planning, budgeting, cooking, making sure they are clothed and showered and fed and all their emotional and spiritual needs are met. Grocery shopping and cleaning and laundry, cleaning the bath and floors... It seems like that wouldn't take all that long now that the kids are 13 and 10 and I would have hours and hours to paint each day, but that is just not the case.

Struggling to draw again!!! It is so hard!

the painting currently in progress 

Plus for me to even start painting takes faith and lots of it.  

I have to spread out old towels around the living room floor, then get all my supplies together, then, stare at a blank canvas and pray.  Pray not only about content, but also praying hard that I don't get paint all over the floor and furniture. 

I also have to pray that I won't spend any time listening to the enemy or the accusations & negative talk that seems to  start immediately as I start painting.  This voice that says, "this is stupid, you are so not a great artist, why are you doing this?" Or the negative talk that compares me to where other people are in their lives now and where I should be. God as my witness, Art is a War. ( read The War Of Art by Shawn Coyne)

So I recognize it as the enemy and that I am fighting a war within. 

Hopefully, as I pursue this faithful life of creativity, noticing all the details in the small things around me, continuing to press forward in faith, fighting the good fight against the enemy, resting as I struggle hard through the process, not knowing the outcome still or where I fit into the Art world, that by being faithful to create each day even when I have no idea where it is leading me, I will start to bear fruit of some kind. 

What frustrates me the most is that I am still just discovering process and content, and I feel like I need to be doing this 8-10 hours a day for the next 2 years to figure it all out. 

Knowing this I will press on with the time that I do have and each spare minute I find I will be painting, drawing, making Photo mixed media art in faith.

Stay Creative and subscribe to 

Stay Tuned. 

FAF {Forever Art Friends} and more

Hello Again! (Insert a bunch of things here that I wrote at first which would either have bored you to tears, or would have interfered with my life in the future...{hence delete})

Fast forward from all those things I deleted:

 I met Jesus 

& Kristi D. McDougal and her amazing family 

(circa 1995-1998) 

Forgiveness is a moment by moment choice. 

Forgiving myself is a new deal for me, yet a part of my daily life now.

Jesus taught me how to start being other's centered. (it is a work in progress)

Jesus taught me how to forgive and love those who hurt me. 

Kristi McDougal, and her sweet family have taught me that Jesus' love is real and tangible here on this earth, it can be experienced through each other in a fun way. 

And we really can be Christ's love to each other without hiding behind religiosity.

Fast forward, now that we are seriously forever friends 

(like, if we live long after we can see and walk, we will still be friends)...

They came to NYC to do a bit of research a couple of weeks ago. 

For me, it was like a dream come true. 

Few times in your life you meet those people that just get you and you get them. 

I feel like this about Kim Nunn and Kristi Durham, so to have them here, was so amazing. 

Kim and Kristi and I were in Art school together, and Kristi, as I just revealed earlier in this post is only a few notches below Jesus in my story. 

On this particular week in NYC,  I was able to just be with them while we trekked through galleries discovering art, drinking wine, laughing and just having so much fun... it was fantastic to say the least, and I highly recommend You booking a trip, bringing your best friends to come here on a art adventure!!!!  And while you are here you need to visit:

(Visit all the Chelsea Galleries, The MET, The Waterfall Gallery, The Heath rooftop garden bar, Williamsburg Smorgesburg, and the , The Frying Pan restaurant at sunset, And the Cornelia Street Cafe, Central Park, Beyoglu Turkish restaurant at 3rd Ave and 81st St.. Being new at this blogging gig, I wish I would have written down all the names of the artists below, but you can find them at the galleries listed above! )

oxox, K