Thursday, August 20, 2015

The four letter B word:

The four letter B word has challenged me to the core!!!! 
What word is this? take a guess.

b    l    o    g.

Why you ask?


Seems my Kindred Spirit Pinterest Folder is the most popular board that I curate, so maybe I should focus mostly on art? But there is so much more!!


Don't get me wrong, I have seen people who are near complete perfection on the outside with their skin, body type, style, house and decor, and their lives, compared to mine, appear near perfect.
Is this me??? Not even close.
God made me completely flawed in every way for his great purpose.
I can continue to fight that, or I can just accept it, embrace it, and move forward, Praising God for using our weaknesses as strength. And praising God for this miracle of life.

I don't want to be sucked into that world, you know the one, where we all try to present ourselves as beautiful, smart, organized and amazing. Because if I present my world and life all cleaned up, looking pretty, having it all together what good does that do for the world and for other people? 

Seems so parallel to what I have learned about our tendency spiritually.
We want to just help Jesus out a little bit with our own salvation by cleaning up our own language and stopping behaviors that might be considered sinful, or shameful, etc. etc.,  so that we can purify ourselves a bit before we come to the Lord or go to church.***

This leads me to believe, that if I clean up my own life for my blog, it might be pretty, but it won't help anyone very much.

Presenting myself as some sort of perfect amazing person who's got it all together might help those out there who are struggling to compare their lives with other's be more critical of themselves,  and it might help those out there that have a tendency to beat up themselves up with negative talk when comparing themselves to others dish out more negative talk to their own hearts.

Nope, this is not what I want at all. I want to be as honest here as you can handle and to encourage and inspire you while being a bit raw. Hopefully, you will be able to relate with the struggle and begin to pursue God and your creative story more authentically.

The truth is, I am far far far from anything that remotely resembles perfect. I live a messy life where I struggle through everything!! Struggling to be an artist, a good wife and mom. I am struggling to draw again and to get my photo projects started. And I struggle to get the crud at home done well on time and right. I struggle in social situations, in friendships too.

So, which reminds me, I struggle in drawing so much. My friend Kristi mentioned this to me last week. You see, I draw, erase, draw, erase, draw, erase. And all those layers, they end up making my drawings richer somehow. The struggle is known and seen and it enhances the work somehow. Maybe in blogging and in our lives, we need to show more of that struggle. 

I am on a quest people!!! I am seeking complete authenticity and sometimes it just ain't pretty.
Do I want to share that? Not really. My thought would be you probably wouldn't like me then, and that leads me back to thinking I need to present a cleaned up story.

Hence, blogging is challenging me to be authentic, engaging and positive, disciplined and to be honest  and not depressing and to stay interesting and etc etc. Plus, I have little to no readers just yet. And this is discouraging at this point, but one day that will be different I hope!!

So as my commitment to blog regularly, even though I have felt like I have had nothing to blog about for days on end, this is what flowed out of me unexpectedly. 

a wonderful store I discovered this week!!! Rain 

Now I will end this with a list of honest observations: 

1. Living in NYC in the summer is Hot and so exhausting. period.

2. I have procrastinated doing our laundry for one week. It is official now I have 4 tons of laundry to haul down the street today. Am I looking forward to this? no. I am still procrastinating. 

3. I rearranged my son's room so that 1/2 of his room is his, and 1/2 of the room is my new office. This is how we live folks.

4. I have had some great ideas the past few days, and this is encouraging because I thought all my ideas were dried up. But taking action on those ideas is the problem. ( Ideas for sale here, get your ideas)

5. I got put on a waiting list for a great studio space  this week!!!!!!! and I am number 597 on the list. whoooo hoooo.
That should take awhile.

6. If you are looking for an amazing restaurant to take your friends to, Boqueria in Soho.

And stay tuned to hear about Shakespeare in the Park tonight!!!



(***But from what I understand the truth of the Gospel to be is God wants complete deep to the core honesty and authentic repentance. He loved us while we were his enemies. We will only become our true selves slowly once we admit we need Jesus' forgiveness and his righteousness, through the sanctification process. And it will be of no work of our own, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9)

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Jealous of the Jealous Curator...

I learn from so many resources, specifically my own Pinterest board called "A Kindred Spirit"where I post all the paintings/photos/mixed media art that I am completely drooling over in love with.  I visit it often, and I post my own work there too just so I can see it all together. 

How do you become so jealous of someone who is so openly jealous? Well, authenticity has something to do with it. For so long I didn't let myself admit how jealous I was of other artists.

But, Danielle Krysa didn't do that. Honesty gets you to good places. Jealousy might be a negative emotion, but honesty overpowered it with positive vibes.

Let me just tell you, I have never more jealous anyone like I am of her , the founder of  The Jealous Curator. (damn I wish I had thought of that).  Her honesty about her own jealously led her to start one of the best most amazing resources for me to discover new artists Art to date. 


Can't wait to listen to more of the podcast she has started!!! 

Be Authentic and honest with yourself today.

An image from her blog... 

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Painting the Summer...

As the Summer days start to fade into a bit cooler and shorter days...
I am reflecting on how time slips through my fingers like its an abstraction. Our days are filled with so much of just ordinary "getting things done." 
Time and Dirt seem to be my greatest enemies to creating art!! 

I don't know about you, but so much of my time is used up in just taking care of the basic needs of the house and the kids' needs like meal planning, budgeting, cooking, making sure they are clothed and showered and fed and all their emotional and spiritual needs are met. Grocery shopping and cleaning and laundry, cleaning the bath and floors... It seems like that wouldn't take all that long now that the kids are 13 and 10 and I would have hours and hours to paint each day, but that is just not the case.

Struggling to draw again!!! It is so hard!

the painting currently in progress 

Plus for me to even start painting takes faith and lots of it.  

I have to spread out old towels around the living room floor, then get all my supplies together, then, stare at a blank canvas and pray.  Pray not only about content, but also praying hard that I don't get paint all over the floor and furniture. 

I also have to pray that I won't spend any time listening to the enemy or the accusations & negative talk that seems to  start immediately as I start painting.  This voice that says, "this is stupid, you are so not a great artist, why are you doing this?" Or the negative talk that compares me to where other people are in their lives now and where I should be. God as my witness, Art is a War. ( read The War Of Art by Shawn Coyne)

So I recognize it as the enemy and that I am fighting a war within. 

Hopefully, as I pursue this faithful life of creativity, noticing all the details in the small things around me, continuing to press forward in faith, fighting the good fight against the enemy, resting as I struggle hard through the process, not knowing the outcome still or where I fit into the Art world, that by being faithful to create each day even when I have no idea where it is leading me, I will start to bear fruit of some kind. 

What frustrates me the most is that I am still just discovering process and content, and I feel like I need to be doing this 8-10 hours a day for the next 2 years to figure it all out. 

Knowing this I will press on with the time that I do have and each spare minute I find I will be painting, drawing, making Photo mixed media art in faith.

Stay Creative and subscribe to 
Stay Tuned. 

FAF {Forever Art Friends} and more

Hello Again! (Insert a bunch of things here that I wrote at first which would either have bored you to tears, or would have interfered with my life in the future...{hence delete})

Fast forward from all those things I deleted:

 I met Jesus 
& Kristi D. McDougal and her amazing family 
(circa 1995-1998) 

Forgiveness is a moment by moment choice. 
Forgiving myself is a new deal for me, yet a part of my daily life now.

Jesus taught me how to start being other's centered. (it is a work in progress)
Jesus taught me how to forgive and love those who hurt me. 

Kristi McDougal, and her sweet family have taught me that Jesus' love is real and tangible here on this earth, it can be experienced through each other in a fun way. 
And we really can be Christ's love to each other without hiding behind religiosity.

Fast forward, now that we are seriously forever friends 
(like, if we live long after we can see and walk, we will still be friends)...

They came to NYC to do a bit of research a couple of weeks ago. 
For me, it was like a dream come true. 

Few times in your life you meet those people that just get you and you get them. 
I feel like this about Kim Nunn and Kristi Durham, so to have them here, was so amazing. 

Kim and Kristi and I were in Art school together, and Kristi, as I just revealed earlier in this post is only a few notches below Jesus in my story. 

On this particular week in NYC,  I was able to just be with them while we trekked through galleries discovering art, drinking wine, laughing and just having so much fun... it was fantastic to say the least, and I highly recommend You booking a trip, bringing your best friends to come here on a art adventure!!!!  And while you are here you need to visit:
(Visit all the Chelsea Galleries, The MET, The Waterfall Gallery, The Heath rooftop garden bar, Williamsburg Smorgesburg, and the , The Frying Pan restaurant at sunset, And the Cornelia Street Cafe, Central Park, Beyoglu Turkish restaurant at 3rd Ave and 81st St.. Being new at this blogging gig, I wish I would have written down all the names of the artists below, but you can find them at the galleries listed above! )

oxox, K

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Saturday, we were having one of those days.

 If you are a parent to more than one child, you will totally understand! It was the kind of day where when you want to leave the house promptly, but you literally can't seem to do it without a minor war breaking out at home, with annoying whining and complete resistance coming from both children. 

So, managing to get out the door, with everyone's scooter and shoes was victory enough. We knew we were headed to Manhattan, but didn't know where we were headed exactly. 

Although, we did have it in our minds to leave room for a bit of spontaneity to happen in the day. 

Good thing because the F train for Manhattan never came. 
The Coney Island F train did 3 times, so we changed directions and jumped on! 

And so became our Saturday Coney Island Impromptu visit.

Walking all the way from the Coney Island Aquarium stop to the end of the Boardwalk where Terry's active Park's project is being constructed, it was really fun to see his team's work in action.  Then we headed back all the way to the new pier near the baseball stadium, all the while letting our nearly grown children go off on their scooters way ahead of us, trusting that we would find them eventually. 

This is another victory for us. 

As we walked along the (in need of many repairs) wooden boardwalk, T reminded me again that all that wood came from the rain forest and the people in the neighborhoods are demanding it be wood again. ( Which makes me so frustrated! I can definitely see why they would love the wood, but Let's save the rainforest folks!!) back to as we walked...we saw people dancing, riding scary rides, really owning those two piece bathing suits no matter what their body type, people playing music, cutting mangos, people singing, fishing, swimming, sunbathing, people sitting in bars, restaurants, and lots of people eating hotdogs and french fries at Nathan's. Life was happening here folks.  ( I just said Folks twice in one paragraph. ugh).

Yes, each time I go to Coney Island, I see so many humans appearing to be having the times of their lives. 
And yet, I personally struggle at this big place because I am definitely a more "less crowded spaces" kind of gal, and this place continues to remind me about the parts of me I am not crazy about like:
1. that I am not in Kansas anymore. ( not that I ever was in Kansas, more like NC or TN) 
2. I was brought up in a way too homogenized environment. 
3. I need to travel and get out more. 
4. I am unfortunately to my surprise closed minded.  ( working on this) 
My favorite parts of the trip were the concrete walls painted by the new popup Smorgesburg near the entrance to the park, a medium size Blue Moon, MY KIDS having fun even after their great rejection!!, and smelling the salty air. I was thankful for a bite of ice cream and seeing the ocean. 

If you are in NYC for the Summer, you definitely need to take a trip on the Q or F to Coney Island. It is a one of a kind experience.