Wednesday, September 23, 2015

to be still... your untold story

Being Still is something we all need to do every day. 
In order to listen to your longings, listen to God, listen to what is affecting us on the inside, you must take time to be still. In this is honoring your own heart and valuing your own soul. To value all of life is not to forget your own life. To stay close to your own story is more powerful than trying to invent a new one ( a quote that Brandy told me... I will have to get the name). 

Pursuing creativity even in the midst of all the things that distract or discourage us is walking in Faith, knowing that you don't know what is next and knowing that you are not in control of the what comes out of it or in control of how your work will affect others. But, what won't happen if you don't take those baby steps? Your story, it won't get told.  It will burst from your heart in some other way. But those people who need to hear exactly what you have to say, they won't hear it, unless you faithfully take those first steps.

Just make that first mark on that blank canvas, write that first word, and don't be afraid of failing in conceptualizing a photo.  

One Beautiful Sunny 80 degree day, (actually this Saturday) Brandy and I decided (about a month earlier) that we would support each other in a step of faith. I haven't been actively working on "personal work" in photography for years, and Brandy, she was just willing to help me by donating her time and her prayers. I would ask my daughter to help me, but I might end up running away by the end of that session (lol). 

Knowing someone has willingly giving you an entire day of their life is a pretty big deal and I didn't take that lightly. I realize how valuable time is and how precious it is and really, being able to spend the day playing with the camera was the best gift anyone could ever give to me. 

I remember those days in college when friends were always available to go out and play, and life, it was simpler then. I wish I knew back then how difficult it would be in the future to play and to find people to go out and play with ideas with. I think it would have motivated me to do way more at that time. 

So, back to Saturday, I was nervous, and definitely not everything went exactly right, the dress didn't photograph quite like I hoped, I didn't have a clear understanding of how to conceptualize every thought. But it was a valuable day of learning process and taking that step in faith to make small steps lead to big results. 

When the blue bird arrived, I literally couldn't believe my eyes. I had reached out to my facebook friends to see if anyone had a taxidermy-ed bird to use. Not a soul did. But I happened to mention it to my friend Stacey here in Brooklyn who is not on FB and she said, "I have one and it is a blue bird!!" I nearly fell down. 

The silent prayers, that are really thoughts running through my mind that previous week,  why does it always surprise me how God is so personal when he chooses to read thoughts as a prayers and answer them so specifically? He cares even about my desire to create. When I was thinking of using a bird, I secretly deep in my thoughts longed for it to be a blue bird. And there it was, free for me to use two days before the shoot. 

Again, nothing was absolutely perfect, except for the weather and the blue bird and us being on the same page about this being a faith shoot. Not all of my ideas came out just right yet, but I am not going to give up. Just by taking this step of faith, I gained clarity and hope.
 I do love what I have learned from this event, I do love these images, and and know God makes perfect and uses our weaknesses to do what he has to get done here on earth. 

Stay creative, be motivated and take baby steps today to tell that untold story inside of you. 

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”
Maya Angelou   

Brandy was a trooper, she got soaking wet, when I had the bright idea of her laying down in the water. Those Pictures flopped. She endured a brutally long day with me. B- Thank you again!!! you are beautiful. oxox